For some friends whom we have not seen for a long time, when we met, we may not find back the old feelings between each other. For some friends, no matter how long we haven't seen each other, we can always pick up our conservation and laugh. Whatever feelings I have, I like to treasure the moments when we were together and move on.
2010年3月29日 星期一
Biking & Picnic
It was one of the rare sunny days in this early spring. We, three families got together, brought our kids and bikes to a lotus garden. It was not lotus season yet, but the landscape itself in the garden was already beautiful. We did not intend to have one, but some of us brought food and drinks, so, we had a small picnic, too. Richy joined the kids to bike around and the rest of us chatted under a wooden pavilion. The air and temperature felt great. I felt it was like going back to the old days when friends and I chatted at places around our campus. The difference was that we all got older and got kids.
For some friends whom we have not seen for a long time, when we met, we may not find back the old feelings between each other. For some friends, no matter how long we haven't seen each other, we can always pick up our conservation and laugh. Whatever feelings I have, I like to treasure the moments when we were together and move on.
For some friends whom we have not seen for a long time, when we met, we may not find back the old feelings between each other. For some friends, no matter how long we haven't seen each other, we can always pick up our conservation and laugh. Whatever feelings I have, I like to treasure the moments when we were together and move on.
2010年3月2日 星期二
Lantern Festival
元宵節的省思
有些地方辦燈會， 有些地方放煙火
中華文化保存的最好的地方是---?
遺址最多的地方是---?
中華文化保存的最好的地方 ，遺址消失殆盡；
遺址最多的地方， 文化卻亟亟不保。
悲的是，兩地只談政經沒文化
Taichung, Taiwan
View more hand made Lanterns in my friend Elaine's blog .
Lantern Festival is the 15th day of first month of lunar new year. People celebrate it to end the Chinese New Year festivities. Rice balls also calledYuan Xiao or Tang Yuan are the traditional food to eat on the day.
Rice balls, Tang Yuan
We saw many Lantern exhibitions in parks and museums in Taiwan days before Lantern Festival, but none in Suzhou's parks. I believe they have at least one big lantern somewhere in the old town. However, on the Lantern Festival eve, there were many firewworks (almost out of control) everywhere (until midnight) and flying lanterns in the sky with some broken in the middle falling to the ground and some hung on the electric power pole and causing temporary power shortage in the neighborhood.
From the place I live, I can see the lanterns carring candles flying high in the sky and fantastic fireworks from every side of the windows in my house. Flying lanterns are beautiful and seem peaceful, but in fact, they are very dangerous. In tradition, people fly the lantern into sky and make wishes to God. But there is no guarantee that every flying lantern would fly high in to the sky and extinguish itself. Maybe the government won't do anything banning until something really serious happens. Isn't making wish on the risk of others' safety too selfish? Would God help selfish people's wish come true?
As for the fireworks, since many people are rich in a sudden in this developing country. Some families buy tons of fireworks to celebrate big days the way they like. So they play long lasting fireworks to show their prosperity while others have to close the windows to avoid the stuffing smoke and noises all night long. I heard that one rich family killed 21 persons and 5 luxurious cars accidently in the fireworks on the Eve. I hope people would learn the lesson.
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Who would think of the tragedy behind?
Carry lanterns, don't fly lantens (especially with lighted candles inside) . Show more lanterns in the parks and museums instead of exploding too many fireworks on the Eve. For the environmental reason, I think the fireworks should completely be banned in the world. The firework factories had caused many deaths in poverty areas, not to say the air pollution by lighting them.
2009年9月10日 星期四
Depression Therapy
One of the books I read this summer is Feeling Good-the new mood therapy written by David D. Burns, M.D.
Here I like to share the notes I kept while reading the book. Why did I name this post a Depression Therapy? If you are someone who are sensitive to others' attitudes, critics or actions. Then from time to time, you may suffer from depression. And I hope these notes will help you deal with your problems to a certain degree.
The theme of Cognitive Therapy(認知治療的理論核心): Thoughts create feelings.
Cognition(認知): the way you are thinking about things at any moment. These thoughts will automatically have a huge impact on how you feel.想法影响感觉感受
Our cognitions may be affected by our childhood experiences, genes, and hormones, the controllalbes or the uncontrollables. Fortunately, as matured adults, we can change the way we think of things and change basic values and beliefs.或许是生活环境、成长背景、基因、贺尔蒙的分泌问题影响了我们对事情的看法，不论是先天後天造成的，身为一个成熟的人，是可以经由改变想法，進而改变心情、生活与健康。
Realize the Facts:
1.All moods are created by cognitions（thoughts）.
2.When feeling depressed, thoughts are dominated by a pervasive negativity, then you perceive not only self but the entire world in dark, gloomy terms.
Bad things happened in the past may make you look into the future with emptiness.
3.Distorted thinking (mental slippage) is major cause of suffering.
Part of being human means getting upset from time to time.
What you think will affect how you feel, so Change the way you think of things will help control your mood. We must understand what is happening (look into the real meaning behind the scene, realize the real problem) before we feel it.
Cognitive Distortions((認知扭曲)include:
1.All-or-Nothing Thinking: See things as black or white
2.Overgeneralization
3.Mental filter: pick out a negative detail, dwell on it exclusively. When depressed, one tends to filter out anything positive and conclude that everything is negative. Also called selective abstraction.
4.Disqualifying the positive: throw cold water to the good things that happened; denying being loved, cared, and welcomed by others.
5.Jumping to conclusions: “Mind reading” without checking the facts, ex: non-returned phone calls. The fortune teller error: I’m going to …, I’ll never …., That is my fate to be… . Respond to the imagined negative reactions by withdrawal or counterattack.
Self defeating behavior pattern may act as a self-fulfilling prophecy and set up a negative interaction in a relationship when none actually exists.
6.Magnification and Minimization
Magnify errors and mistakes, while minimize strength
7.Emotional Reasoning : I feel …, therefore, I am following my mood to do things
8.Too Many Shoulds and shouldn’ts
They(you/she/he)should or shouldn’t…他应该…才对，不该…才对。太多的该与不该。
9.Labeling and Mislabeling
This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. When labeling others, you inevitably (invariably) generate hostility.
10.Personalization: Put the world on one’s shoulder; fill in the seat where you don’t have to take.
The solutions are summarized as follows (解決方法):
1.People do not live by our rules.不是每个人都照我们的规约生活的。人类会犯错的，对、错也没有绝对性的 Fewer shoulds and shoulden’ts will make our lives easier.
2.Why behave in ways that not in our best self-interest.
3.No one in this world has the power to put you down but yourself.
4.Don’t let others errors or mistakes upset you. 换句话说,不要因为别人的过错或失误而惩罚自己，如果因此而不悦，那你就赋予对方太大的影响力，来影响自己的情绪与健康了。
5.Don’t expect fair treatment from others or expect others to send expected feedback to us. Ex. Don’t be upset by unanswered phone calls. That doesn’t mean you are not welcome.
6.As we learn to expect less, we get more.
7.I am the one who decide whether I should be happy or not. My mood should not be controlled by others’ action or attitudes.
The basic law of physics (行为反作用力):
如果你和我一樣常常会收到一些不爱的意见建议，你和我一樣会为了反抗压力而反对，那读读此段吧。有时候会发现是跟自己做对。但该坚持的还是坚持吧！畢竟人生只有一次。
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction against it. You push harder, it bounces back harder.
Ex: When someone tries to push us or boss around, we will tighten up and resist, in order to maintain our equilibrium and self-esteem. The same applies to kids’ reaction to moms’ pushy hands.
By realizing this law, I suggest that:
1.If feeling pushed, you think of the essence of the facts first, if that is in your best interest, and that is in your plan, you should do it not because someone’s pushing you, but because you want to do it. If that is something you don’t like to do and not to your best interest, then don’t listen to others? You are the one who decide what to do. We all don’t like pushy hands.
2.Try not to be the "unwelcome" pushers. Respect others and others may learn to respect us.
Dealing with critics (comments):
Many times we feel bad when facing negative critics.
Here is the way to deal with them:
1.If Wrong Comments, Ignore it. Don’t waste time letting wrong comments upset you.
2.If right comment, we must know that we, as human beings, are not perfect in nature. Try to find ways to improve and correct it.
Dealing with fights (or arguments)
1.Ask the person to find out what he means ( avoid being judgmental or labeling or defensive while asking questions).
2.Attempt to see the world through the opponent’s eyes. Slip in his shoes.
3.Transform an attack-defense interaction into one of collaboration and mutual respect. Don’t fight back, as we know the law of physics, but find a way to agree with the critics (there must be some points he mentions are agreeable). This way you will defuse his anger.
4.Disarm the opponent, Admit that we make mistakes. You are not cheating. People do make mistakes sometimes or many times.
5.Feedback and negotiation. Find way to agree with critics. Being defensive does no good to the communication.
~Best Wishes to All~
Here I like to share the notes I kept while reading the book. Why did I name this post a Depression Therapy? If you are someone who are sensitive to others' attitudes, critics or actions. Then from time to time, you may suffer from depression. And I hope these notes will help you deal with your problems to a certain degree.
The theme of Cognitive Therapy(認知治療的理論核心): Thoughts create feelings.
Cognition(認知): the way you are thinking about things at any moment. These thoughts will automatically have a huge impact on how you feel.想法影响感觉感受
Our cognitions may be affected by our childhood experiences, genes, and hormones, the controllalbes or the uncontrollables. Fortunately, as matured adults, we can change the way we think of things and change basic values and beliefs.或许是生活环境、成长背景、基因、贺尔蒙的分泌问题影响了我们对事情的看法，不论是先天後天造成的，身为一个成熟的人，是可以经由改变想法，進而改变心情、生活与健康。
Realize the Facts:
1.All moods are created by cognitions（thoughts）.
2.When feeling depressed, thoughts are dominated by a pervasive negativity, then you perceive not only self but the entire world in dark, gloomy terms.
Bad things happened in the past may make you look into the future with emptiness.
3.Distorted thinking (mental slippage) is major cause of suffering.
Part of being human means getting upset from time to time.
What you think will affect how you feel, so Change the way you think of things will help control your mood. We must understand what is happening (look into the real meaning behind the scene, realize the real problem) before we feel it.
Cognitive Distortions((認知扭曲)include:
1.All-or-Nothing Thinking: See things as black or white
2.Overgeneralization
3.Mental filter: pick out a negative detail, dwell on it exclusively. When depressed, one tends to filter out anything positive and conclude that everything is negative. Also called selective abstraction.
4.Disqualifying the positive: throw cold water to the good things that happened; denying being loved, cared, and welcomed by others.
5.Jumping to conclusions: “Mind reading” without checking the facts, ex: non-returned phone calls. The fortune teller error: I’m going to …, I’ll never …., That is my fate to be… . Respond to the imagined negative reactions by withdrawal or counterattack.
Self defeating behavior pattern may act as a self-fulfilling prophecy and set up a negative interaction in a relationship when none actually exists.
6.Magnification and Minimization
Magnify errors and mistakes, while minimize strength
7.Emotional Reasoning : I feel …, therefore, I am following my mood to do things
8.Too Many Shoulds and shouldn’ts
They(you/she/he)should or shouldn’t…他应该…才对，不该…才对。太多的该与不该。
9.Labeling and Mislabeling
This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. When labeling others, you inevitably (invariably) generate hostility.
10.Personalization: Put the world on one’s shoulder; fill in the seat where you don’t have to take.
The solutions are summarized as follows (解決方法):
1.People do not live by our rules.不是每个人都照我们的规约生活的。人类会犯错的，对、错也没有绝对性的 Fewer shoulds and shoulden’ts will make our lives easier.
2.Why behave in ways that not in our best self-interest.
3.No one in this world has the power to put you down but yourself.
4.Don’t let others errors or mistakes upset you. 换句话说,不要因为别人的过错或失误而惩罚自己，如果因此而不悦，那你就赋予对方太大的影响力，来影响自己的情绪与健康了。
5.Don’t expect fair treatment from others or expect others to send expected feedback to us. Ex. Don’t be upset by unanswered phone calls. That doesn’t mean you are not welcome.
6.As we learn to expect less, we get more.
7.I am the one who decide whether I should be happy or not. My mood should not be controlled by others’ action or attitudes.
The basic law of physics (行为反作用力):
如果你和我一樣常常会收到一些不爱的意见建议，你和我一樣会为了反抗压力而反对，那读读此段吧。有时候会发现是跟自己做对。但该坚持的还是坚持吧！畢竟人生只有一次。
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction against it. You push harder, it bounces back harder.
Ex: When someone tries to push us or boss around, we will tighten up and resist, in order to maintain our equilibrium and self-esteem. The same applies to kids’ reaction to moms’ pushy hands.
By realizing this law, I suggest that:
1.If feeling pushed, you think of the essence of the facts first, if that is in your best interest, and that is in your plan, you should do it not because someone’s pushing you, but because you want to do it. If that is something you don’t like to do and not to your best interest, then don’t listen to others? You are the one who decide what to do. We all don’t like pushy hands.
2.Try not to be the "unwelcome" pushers. Respect others and others may learn to respect us.
Dealing with critics (comments):
Many times we feel bad when facing negative critics.
Here is the way to deal with them:
1.If Wrong Comments, Ignore it. Don’t waste time letting wrong comments upset you.
2.If right comment, we must know that we, as human beings, are not perfect in nature. Try to find ways to improve and correct it.
Dealing with fights (or arguments)
1.Ask the person to find out what he means ( avoid being judgmental or labeling or defensive while asking questions).
2.Attempt to see the world through the opponent’s eyes. Slip in his shoes.
3.Transform an attack-defense interaction into one of collaboration and mutual respect. Don’t fight back, as we know the law of physics, but find a way to agree with the critics (there must be some points he mentions are agreeable). This way you will defuse his anger.
4.Disarm the opponent, Admit that we make mistakes. You are not cheating. People do make mistakes sometimes or many times.
5.Feedback and negotiation. Find way to agree with critics. Being defensive does no good to the communication.
~Best Wishes to All~
2009年7月2日 星期四
The Unbelievable Scene
The internet blocks in China are getting stronger and now I couldn't even cross the Great Wall and sneak out to visit some Google friends' websites.
On the other side, the foundations of buildings in China are so fragile, you can see the roots of a 13 flr building pulled out by no Wind.
Now I am skeptical about the construction base of the building I am living in. Whatch out when you stand beside a building.
On June 27, 2009, one of the buildings in constructin lay flat on the ground in Shanghai.
They said other buildings beside the fallen one haven't fallen before and are still strong based, but who dare to move in.
2009年5月24日 星期日
Former Korean President, Lu 悼韩国前总统卢武铉
上次才表揚他認错的精神，现在他为了怕连累更多人而自杀，言词中充满道歉，他的举动是对是错，留给後人评断，我尊敬他的为人。
谁能无过？知错認错最可敬。
默哀....
His act may seemed to be a bad example or irresponsible to the society. Right or Wrong? I don't want to comment. But he earned my respect. He admited his fault. He suicided not because he wanted to escape from his penalties but to protect the ones involved in the scandal.
2009年5月8日 星期五
Crying out is healthy --If you want to cry, must read this
Sorry, this story is not one of my originals. You have to click here to generate some tears: James Blog
June's comment
I cried while reading the story. I can understand very much the feelings of the woman who married to a man trying to please his parents. I think many couples suffer more or less from communication problem. Communication would work only when two sides are willing to setback and talk things through. And communication would be easier for those who grow up with similar family backgrounds than those who don't. Unfortunately, many times people think communication is the chance to make his point clear and sticking to it for not losing the fight. It just did not work smoothly especially when the matter of family-in-law is involved. Then one side or both sides would suffer unnecessarily. The problems are worse in Asia than America or Europe where woman married to a man doesn't have to marry the whole family. I believe treating family members like friends, respecting their privacy and giving ourselves and other family members freedom, more private time, and space would create a pleasant and joyful family relationship for all. If one side is forcing the other side to put up with something she/he doesn't like, he/she would feel suffocating and would never learn to appreciate others and life, no matter what others (family members) have done for him/her. Compromise will only last temporarily. Relationship out of repeating compromises would eventually break when the hidden time-bomb is ignited by some incident. Many Regrets would then follow.
Among the complicated relationship between husband and wife and between married couple with their families in-law, if you are as lucky as I am, everyone in the family is doing things out of good intentions. When there is argument or fight, it is not the time to say who is right or wrong because everyone is in different shoes and everyone is right in their position. But it is definitely unwise to force others to wear the shoes that don't fit. At this point, most of us are not so lucky to avoid compromises.
June's comment
I cried while reading the story. I can understand very much the feelings of the woman who married to a man trying to please his parents. I think many couples suffer more or less from communication problem. Communication would work only when two sides are willing to setback and talk things through. And communication would be easier for those who grow up with similar family backgrounds than those who don't. Unfortunately, many times people think communication is the chance to make his point clear and sticking to it for not losing the fight. It just did not work smoothly especially when the matter of family-in-law is involved. Then one side or both sides would suffer unnecessarily. The problems are worse in Asia than America or Europe where woman married to a man doesn't have to marry the whole family. I believe treating family members like friends, respecting their privacy and giving ourselves and other family members freedom, more private time, and space would create a pleasant and joyful family relationship for all. If one side is forcing the other side to put up with something she/he doesn't like, he/she would feel suffocating and would never learn to appreciate others and life, no matter what others (family members) have done for him/her. Compromise will only last temporarily. Relationship out of repeating compromises would eventually break when the hidden time-bomb is ignited by some incident. Many Regrets would then follow.
Among the complicated relationship between husband and wife and between married couple with their families in-law, if you are as lucky as I am, everyone in the family is doing things out of good intentions. When there is argument or fight, it is not the time to say who is right or wrong because everyone is in different shoes and everyone is right in their position. But it is definitely unwise to force others to wear the shoes that don't fit. At this point, most of us are not so lucky to avoid compromises.
2009年4月23日 星期四
不認错比做错事更可耻！Admitting takes courage!
看到以下的新闻，感歎许多政治人物贪污犯错，哪个不是先否认，接下来死不承认。
中廣新闻
據南韓「聯合通訊社」報導，因捲入「受賄醜聞」的盧武鉉在自己的網站上，貼上文章表示：他已無法繼續成為（支持者）追求的價值象徵。他已經沒有資格再提民主主義、進步、正義了，並請各位拋棄他。 我赞赏他认错的勇气。
According to the news, South Korea's former president Lu asked his people to take faith away from him, in a way to say sorry for his scandals.
I salute him for facing and admitting self mistakes. And I think many more dishonest politicians should learn from him.
---------------------
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. "-----Jimi Hendrix
"Money and Corruption are ruining the land. Crooked politicians betray the working man, pocketing the profits and treating us like sheep. And we're tired of hearing promises that we know they'll never keep.” ----Ray Davies
中廣新闻
據南韓「聯合通訊社」報導，因捲入「受賄醜聞」的盧武鉉在自己的網站上，貼上文章表示：他已無法繼續成為（支持者）追求的價值象徵。他已經沒有資格再提民主主義、進步、正義了，並請各位拋棄他。 我赞赏他认错的勇气。
According to the news, South Korea's former president Lu asked his people to take faith away from him, in a way to say sorry for his scandals.
I salute him for facing and admitting self mistakes. And I think many more dishonest politicians should learn from him.
---------------------
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace. "-----Jimi Hendrix
"Money and Corruption are ruining the land. Crooked politicians betray the working man, pocketing the profits and treating us like sheep. And we're tired of hearing promises that we know they'll never keep.” ----Ray Davies
2009年4月20日 星期一
A rice in the field
It rained this Sunday. We stayed home watching one kids movie and 2009 New Year's Concert DVD conducted by Daniel Barenboim. I also spent some time to renew the layout of my blog page. It looked fine to me now. Today is a rainy day again, I decide to do some reading. I am still looking for some good books to read. Please recommend some good books to me, if you got some in mind. I like to read books about life and words of wisdom.
This morning, I opened the book which I bought months ago and I haven't got time to read it seriously yet. I found on bottom of certain pages are some words of wisdom. So inspiring on such a rainy day!
We are the leaves of one branch, the drops of one sea, and the flowers of one garden. ---Jean Batiste Henry Lacordaire
My Note:
1.Yeh, and each person is a rice in the field. This fits very much to the theme of the movie we just watched yesterday " Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!". In this movie, a big elephant Horton found a speck on a clover. And inside the speck there were millions of little mites living in a village called whoville. A fight between regonizing and denying the existence of littles lives began...
2. While we are big and observing something tiny, Maybe there is someone even bigger watching us.
Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect. ----Ralph Waldo Emerson.
My Note: I feel ashamed that I always wish for good luck. I guess "hard work" will be the cause and never mind the effect.
Some more till next time~
This morning, I opened the book which I bought months ago and I haven't got time to read it seriously yet. I found on bottom of certain pages are some words of wisdom. So inspiring on such a rainy day!
We are the leaves of one branch, the drops of one sea, and the flowers of one garden. ---Jean Batiste Henry Lacordaire
My Note:
1.Yeh, and each person is a rice in the field. This fits very much to the theme of the movie we just watched yesterday " Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!". In this movie, a big elephant Horton found a speck on a clover. And inside the speck there were millions of little mites living in a village called whoville. A fight between regonizing and denying the existence of littles lives began...
2. While we are big and observing something tiny, Maybe there is someone even bigger watching us.
Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect. ----Ralph Waldo Emerson.
My Note: I feel ashamed that I always wish for good luck. I guess "hard work" will be the cause and never mind the effect.
Some more till next time~
2009年4月17日 星期五
Ex-life, This Life ? 前世今生
Someone forwarded me a PPT file illustrating the circle of ex-life and this life.
I am a believer of Gods. I respect all religions because I regard myself tiny and weak. And the believers' testimonies sound so real. I do need guidance when I get lost. However, I don't like to preach or to be preached. I like to keep the freedom on choosing what to believe, and what to read. I keep Budish books and Christian Bible on my book shelf. I checked the religious books out whenever I was in bad mood and needed guidance.
There is always new inspiration for me when I check those religious books out. Anyway, what I want to say is: whatever religion it is, as long as it cures.
I keep thinking if we treat the issue of ex-life, this life, and next life philosophically, instead of religiously, then we can be a believer without religious burden and live "this life" differently.
If we know that our family members were related in our ex-life and we may meet others in our next life, we would treat many others the same way we treat our family members. Our love to our family would not be so selfish and would be extended to others.
Environmentally, if we know this life is not the end of our life, then we would treasure more of the natural resources instead of use them as much as we can.
And, when we meet some problems repeatedly, we will try to deal and solve them instead of burying our head in the sand like an Ostrich. Because, as the ex-life theory says: the shadow of ex-life would repeat in our current life. So, if we deal with the problems , we may not need to deal with the same problems all over again in our next life.
I like to think things over sometimes. But with my tiny brain, I am not sure what I just said is right or wrong. But it does help me in some way.
*********
If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character...Would you slow down? Or speed up?
---by Chuck Palahniuk
I am a believer of Gods. I respect all religions because I regard myself tiny and weak. And the believers' testimonies sound so real. I do need guidance when I get lost. However, I don't like to preach or to be preached. I like to keep the freedom on choosing what to believe, and what to read. I keep Budish books and Christian Bible on my book shelf. I checked the religious books out whenever I was in bad mood and needed guidance.
There is always new inspiration for me when I check those religious books out. Anyway, what I want to say is: whatever religion it is, as long as it cures.
I keep thinking if we treat the issue of ex-life, this life, and next life philosophically, instead of religiously, then we can be a believer without religious burden and live "this life" differently.
If we know that our family members were related in our ex-life and we may meet others in our next life, we would treat many others the same way we treat our family members. Our love to our family would not be so selfish and would be extended to others.
Environmentally, if we know this life is not the end of our life, then we would treasure more of the natural resources instead of use them as much as we can.
And, when we meet some problems repeatedly, we will try to deal and solve them instead of burying our head in the sand like an Ostrich. Because, as the ex-life theory says: the shadow of ex-life would repeat in our current life. So, if we deal with the problems , we may not need to deal with the same problems all over again in our next life.
I like to think things over sometimes. But with my tiny brain, I am not sure what I just said is right or wrong. But it does help me in some way.
*********
If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character...Would you slow down? Or speed up?
---by Chuck Palahniuk
2009年3月18日 星期三
要不要结婚？
一个学生与男友論及婚嫁，正考虑着这个问题？
我只能说婚姻不一定是爱情的坟墓，没有爱情的婚姻很难辛福，但有了婚姻要维
持爱情更难。
传统的中国人赋予婚姻与女人太多的责任与压力：侍奉公婆、传宗接代；
与其说侍奉公婆不如说是互相照应；传宗接代的压力太大了，延续人類的生命就只是一件自然的事儿。
而大男人主义更讓女人喘不过气。
有些人縂以为自己结婚后就自然而然取得对另一半任何的决策的否决權。
我想，如果男人可以试着用恊助的而非否定的态度去支持老婆做她想做的事情（即使那是天真的），那麽这个男人可以嫁了。
现代人对於孩子的教育方式已见大幅该善，不再是一味地保護、限制、与要求，而是启发、鼓勵与尊重。其实夫妻之间不就也应该简单如此吗？
孩子，祝妳好運！
.......
我只能说婚姻不一定是爱情的坟墓，没有爱情的婚姻很难辛福，但有了婚姻要维
持爱情更难。
传统的中国人赋予婚姻与女人太多的责任与压力：侍奉公婆、传宗接代；
与其说侍奉公婆不如说是互相照应；传宗接代的压力太大了，延续人類的生命就只是一件自然的事儿。
而大男人主义更讓女人喘不过气。
有些人縂以为自己结婚后就自然而然取得对另一半任何的决策的否决權。
我想，如果男人可以试着用恊助的而非否定的态度去支持老婆做她想做的事情（即使那是天真的），那麽这个男人可以嫁了。
现代人对於孩子的教育方式已见大幅该善，不再是一味地保護、限制、与要求，而是启发、鼓勵与尊重。其实夫妻之间不就也应该简单如此吗？
孩子，祝妳好運！
.......
2009年3月17日 星期二
垃圾桶 与 交友 的哲学
Trash Can：
When you want to know whether you're in a rich or poor area on the way of your trip, you should look at the garbage cans. If you see garbage cans but no trash, it is wealthy. If you see trash next to the garbage cans, then it is neither rich nor poor--it is a tourist district. If you see trash without any garbage cans, then it is poor. And if people live in trash then it is very very poor.
心得：所以啊，一个人家有没有钱，看他家的清潔程度就可以知一、二了，
如果一塵不染，表示很有钱请阿嫂打理；如果很髒，表示很窮，没钱没时间管肚皮以外的事了；若是勉强还算乾净但有点乱，就是老婆兼阿嫂，做着不支薪的工作，当然做得不够好，表示这个家庭不窮也不富。
交友
少年Momo 一副酷樣地站在街上，奇怪自己等了半天，仍没法顺利交到異性朋友，於是问了 Ibrahim先生。
Ibrahim告诉他：You stare at people as if wanting to say: see how handsome I am. Well, of course they laugh. You should look at them as if you want to say: I've never seen anyone more beautiful than you. For an ordinary man, like you and me, our looks are what we find in the woman.
心得：要别人欣赏你，必须先学会欣赏别人；另解：交往的对象可以反映出自己。
以上，原文部分摘自書名：Monsieur Ibrahim and the followers of Koran ， 2003 法国拍成电影 。作者是法国人：Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt，行文风趣富哲理， 我只有看到節錄部分，至於全文就要再花时间找了，应该有英译版。
故事裏，十一岁少年与雜货店老板的父子般情谊，在一个返乡的旅途上，少年受了義父Ibrahim先生的影响，学会了爱与宽恕，了解到生命的意义。
The film begins in a working-class neighborhood in the 1960s Paris. The main character, Moїse Schmidt (Momo), is a young Jewish boy growing up without a mother and with a father afflicted by crippling depression. Momo is fascinated by the elderly Turkish Muslim man Ibrahim Demirci, who runs a grocery store across the street from his apartment (where Momo often shops). Their relationship develops and soon Momo feels closer to Ibrahim than to his father. Ibrahim affectionately calls Moїse Momo, and adopts him when his father leaves and commits suicide. Momo and Ibrahim go on a journey to Turkey, Ibrahim's homeland, in their new car.
When you want to know whether you're in a rich or poor area on the way of your trip, you should look at the garbage cans. If you see garbage cans but no trash, it is wealthy. If you see trash next to the garbage cans, then it is neither rich nor poor--it is a tourist district. If you see trash without any garbage cans, then it is poor. And if people live in trash then it is very very poor.
心得：所以啊，一个人家有没有钱，看他家的清潔程度就可以知一、二了，
如果一塵不染，表示很有钱请阿嫂打理；如果很髒，表示很窮，没钱没时间管肚皮以外的事了；若是勉强还算乾净但有点乱，就是老婆兼阿嫂，做着不支薪的工作，当然做得不够好，表示这个家庭不窮也不富。
交友
少年Momo 一副酷樣地站在街上，奇怪自己等了半天，仍没法顺利交到異性朋友，於是问了 Ibrahim先生。
Ibrahim告诉他：You stare at people as if wanting to say: see how handsome I am. Well, of course they laugh. You should look at them as if you want to say: I've never seen anyone more beautiful than you. For an ordinary man, like you and me, our looks are what we find in the woman.
心得：要别人欣赏你，必须先学会欣赏别人；另解：交往的对象可以反映出自己。
以上，原文部分摘自書名：Monsieur Ibrahim and the followers of Koran ， 2003 法国拍成电影 。作者是法国人：Eric-Emmanuel Schmitt，行文风趣富哲理， 我只有看到節錄部分，至於全文就要再花时间找了，应该有英译版。
故事裏，十一岁少年与雜货店老板的父子般情谊，在一个返乡的旅途上，少年受了義父Ibrahim先生的影响，学会了爱与宽恕，了解到生命的意义。
The film begins in a working-class neighborhood in the 1960s Paris. The main character, Moїse Schmidt (Momo), is a young Jewish boy growing up without a mother and with a father afflicted by crippling depression. Momo is fascinated by the elderly Turkish Muslim man Ibrahim Demirci, who runs a grocery store across the street from his apartment (where Momo often shops). Their relationship develops and soon Momo feels closer to Ibrahim than to his father. Ibrahim affectionately calls Moїse Momo, and adopts him when his father leaves and commits suicide. Momo and Ibrahim go on a journey to Turkey, Ibrahim's homeland, in their new car.
2008年12月25日 星期四
信仰
昨日（12/24），一位本地人问我有聖诞夜没有参加教会活动，我说没有。她问我台湾人都信什么教，我说，台湾有很多种宗教；她告诉我大陆的年轻人大部分没有宗教信仰。难怪，许多大陆年轻人严重的道德沉淪；但他们也同时省去了许多不必要的包袱。
今日，又看到新闻提及官员提出多放假以提振经济，真是因果不分。
----------------------------------------------------------------------
有些人以为多放假可以促进消费，有些人觉得钱放股市可以赚钱。
前者相信童话，後者笃信神话；童话世界里，人们是不必工作的，股市神话保证你会致富。
回到现实生活，试问：没有工作，何来金钱用以消费；股市能赚钱又为何要工作。
这个社会存在着不同的信仰，有信童话的政府，信神话的个人，才会有骗子的出现，轻易的把世
界金融搞得如此荒唐。
有些信基督的人認为，要去教堂而且是他所去的那一家教堂才能接近耶蘇；有些笃信佛道教的人
認为一定要经由铺张的仪式程序，才算虔诚。
信仰，多么强而有力啊！
愚蠢的信仰与繁文褥节的信仰一樣可以把人搞得人仰马翻。
但 信仰又是何其重要啊！
当你低调地说出你心中对生活与生命的单纯信仰时，旁人的不以为然保证马上讓你改信沉默是金。
当你表明你的宗教信仰时，人们希望你附和他们持之以久且引以为豪的各种宗教仪式。
----------------------------------------------------------------
放假是用来充电的，不见得能刺激消费，尤其，现在企业放的假多是“共体时艱”的无薪假，如何消费？
股市是玩金钱游戏的地方，不保证能赚钱，游戏贵在其中的樂趣与学习，不是Money；
宗教信仰应是讓人能沉淀心情，感觉轻鬆自在的，不是危言耸聽的怪力乱神。
----------
今日，又看到新闻提及官员提出多放假以提振经济，真是因果不分。
----------------------------------------------------------------------
有些人以为多放假可以促进消费，有些人觉得钱放股市可以赚钱。
前者相信童话，後者笃信神话；童话世界里，人们是不必工作的，股市神话保证你会致富。
回到现实生活，试问：没有工作，何来金钱用以消费；股市能赚钱又为何要工作。
这个社会存在着不同的信仰，有信童话的政府，信神话的个人，才会有骗子的出现，轻易的把世
界金融搞得如此荒唐。
有些信基督的人認为，要去教堂而且是他所去的那一家教堂才能接近耶蘇；有些笃信佛道教的人
認为一定要经由铺张的仪式程序，才算虔诚。
信仰，多么强而有力啊！
愚蠢的信仰与繁文褥节的信仰一樣可以把人搞得人仰马翻。
但 信仰又是何其重要啊！
当你低调地说出你心中对生活与生命的单纯信仰时，旁人的不以为然保证马上讓你改信沉默是金。
当你表明你的宗教信仰时，人们希望你附和他们持之以久且引以为豪的各种宗教仪式。
----------------------------------------------------------------
放假是用来充电的，不见得能刺激消费，尤其，现在企业放的假多是“共体时艱”的无薪假，如何消费？
股市是玩金钱游戏的地方，不保证能赚钱，游戏贵在其中的樂趣与学习，不是Money；
宗教信仰应是讓人能沉淀心情，感觉轻鬆自在的，不是危言耸聽的怪力乱神。
----------
2008年10月9日 星期四
The Flowers and the Stock Market
The Flowers~ ~edited from Krylov's Fables
Inside a lavish room, with windows opened wide, in a fine china vase, sway some artificial paper flowers in all their pride, bright with rare colors. They show their flaunting charms to all that lingered there.
All sudden, showers down the rain; the proud painted paper flowers complain: Oh, Can he stop the shower, Oh, Jupiter! The rain! The rain! It does no good at all. The rain is nothing but a curse. You see the streets are getting worse and worse. The world's all pools and mud. But God does not grant to meet their wish. To fulfill the appointed task, he let the rain complete.
So, passed the heat, and now the air is cool, and nature breathes once more. And leaves and grass seem greener than before. Now on the window side, the pretty natural flowers that grow in all their native charm expand and blossom again, and smell sweeter and more fresh for the rain.
But those painted paper flowers have lost their colors, and are thrown away with the rubbish of the day.
Notes
All real and true talent can disdain detraction. It is the artificial flower that fears the rain.
The Financial Market
The downturn of the market was like the rain. The market is running its appointed task in its life cycle to dispose some rubbish. It will finally clear out the inflated or unhealthy business units or banks through the storm. After the big (or maybe long-lasting) storm, the healthy and good ones will grow. It is a good chance to teach the companies or financial firms to forcus on their core businesses, not just making money out of highly leveraged money.
The Lesson
You never know when it will rain and how long it will last.
To individual investors, the stock market is a black box with psycho traps. Usually the ones with too much greed could not get out. It is good for the investors to watch the chaos and learn the lesson years before their retiring age.
And in this mess, always remember that there are many more things in our life which are more important than money and stocks. So, forget it!
...
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